The “New Unconditional Love”

Unfortunately, I have the displeasure of admitting that I know girls that intentionally faltered on their birth control to become pregnant. When the truth came out, I asked the obvious question, “Why would you do such a thing?”

The reply I always got was, “I wanted an unconditional love in my life.”

I say unfortunately because the notion of starting a family by deceiving the potential father never sat well with me. I had trouble believing that a loving relationship started with deceit, but I kept quiet as I certainly did not know what did start a loving relationship and believed it was not my decision. Many years passed.

This week the topic was accidentally brought up when I listened to a co-worker talking about how her mother wouldn’t be bothered with her until a new baby was involved. She suggested that her mother was just interested in the joys of being a grandmother without any obligation. This is something I’ve heard many times from younger girls that I’ve worked with.

I began to wonder if the girls I knew gave back the love that they so desperately sought. Was deceit really a means to an end or a preview to an unloved child? As an adult that never had the life circumstances to have a family, that question bothers me.

In no way am I passing judgment or being righteous. I have committed my share of sins and bad choices in my time. I just had to stop and wonder for a moment what was the true cost of “unconditional love”.

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